Monday, November 22, 2010

Fall, Family and Fun





If I had it my way, we would go on an adventure every weekend. But, with sports and school activities and life....well, that does not get to happen every weekend. We did have a family adventure this past weekend. We went to Lost Maples park in Vanderpool. We took a picnic lunch and ventured out on some of the trails. The maples are not that colorful this year but that did not take away from our fun. I took my camera along to capture some fall pictures before we snap our Christmas photos this coming weekend. I love just spending time with these 3 people.
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Sunday, November 7, 2010

Good Day with a "snack"

We were due for a great day! Camy's shots did not go well. NOT AT ALL! But that is a story for another time as I just don't have it in me to go through all of that again. MSW has been working very long hours all week due to year end close and on top of everything my dog of 9 years got out Friday night and is still missing. My strength, patience and heart have all been tested the past few days.

We were due for a good day.

Both littles slept through the night! Doodle has been dealing with a stomach bug of sorts and poor, baby girl was literally treated like a pin cushion on Thursday and has not slept well since. This mama and daddy needed some sleep and both angels, obliged. Of course, they were up at 5:00 am. Daddy got up and let me sleep a little longer. He brought up coffee about 7:00 which was his earnest attempt at waking me up for help...wink!

With already being up and it still being super early we decided to go to the 8:30 service at church instead of our normal 9:45. We learned the pre-requisitie of the 8:30 service requires being over the age of 65! Only one childcare room was open and there is no Sunday school at 8:30 for doodle so that meant into service with us he went.

We were due for a great day!

This morning we received Holy Communion and I soon realized this was doodle's first time. We sandwiched him in between us in line and he balked as soon as there was mention of blood and a cup thrust towards him. With an urge from either side, he lightly dipped his bread and went on. It was all lost on him.

The day was beautiful and glorious. We did some chores around the house, sat outside in the grass and finished up doodle's science fair project. We went to the gym as a family and I decided for some reason that I would take an 1.5 hour advanced yoga class. It was apparent very quickly that my core strength still has yet to return and my yoga language is rusty. My yogster lady spoke in Yogi the whole time. She eventually came over to me and pushed me lower into a poise and I am pretty sure that I will not be able to walk or move my arms tomorrow. But, I made it through and "passed" as she put it. It felt great to redirect my thoughts for that time. Nothing clears my head like a good workout.

We came home and I made a yummy dinner! Fall Pork chops, mashed potatoes and green beans. While we were eating we filled out our colorful leaves for the finishing touches to our 2010 Thankful Tree. You know, I would be lying if I did not hesitate and think about the things I don't feel lucky about. I am missing and worried about Sophie and I am beyond sad about all that Camy had to endure this week. However, I think the right thing...the healthy thing to do is focus on all the blessings. I worked really hard in church this morning to let go of the anger, frustration and self-pitty and move on and trust.

Before doodle went off to dreamland thinking about Nerf guns, silly bandz or sports; we talked about what the meaning of Holy Communion. He listened and nodded his head while I told the meaning. When I was done he said, "got it, mama and I just thought they were giving us a little snack to calm our nerves!"

Once I composed myself from laughing uncontrollably and kissing him all over for being so stinking cute, I had a second thought. You know what? I walked into church needing to find my peace with recent events and what I got was exactly a little "snack" that calmed my nerves. My clever boy!

And it was a really, really good day....all things considered.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


I don't think I have blogged the full story on Camy's bleeding disorder...I've talked it so much but not sure I've actually written it all out. Part of the reason is that everything is still so inconclusive. The last test results by our new Hematologist at Santa Rosa showed she did have low levels of Von Willebrand factor but that her specimen clotted which is contradictory within itself. So we've lived life the past 6 months as normal. She has had no problems at all...which is in no small part to the amazing prayers that are said for her each day. And so, most days we don't even think about Mr. Von Willebrand's Disease! But, then those moments happen that shake me to the core. The first few seconds of seeing blood on her or the glimpse of her smacking her head into something. And then came the biggest of all so far, her fall on the back patio.

What started as such a wonderful afternoon ended in crisis mode. Baby girl took a, more accurately she face planted onto the saltillo tile. The moment, the sound is forever imprinted on my brain. The look on doodle's face and his mix of hysterical laughing/crying that happens when a 6 year old mind can't process the gravity of what just happened makes the moment all the more vivid.

I was three short feet away, turning just in time to see it and not be able to react fast enough to stop it...guilt, oh the guilt I feel! She laid face down, I swooped her up straight into the crease of my neck. She was hurt, badly and I could tell that from the cry. I dug deep into my mothering instincts and mustarded up a strength that surprised me...a rational thinking in such a dire situation. It must have been 3 short seconds but it was enough time to gather my thoughts before I took action. I expected blood and lots of it....straight to the ER with her Humate P? Call 911? Don't let Caden see this too! Ice, pressure...all the training I have done. I sent doodle to the kitchen to gather ice packs, partly for first aide and partly to get him away so that I could assess the damage without him seeing. I still had not seen the damage on her beautiful face. With him out of sight, I pulled her from neck. An immediate calming went through me....NO BLOOD! None! Zip! She had a bump on her cheek bone that was growing and faint bruising already starting. Relief!!!! A VWD, Type III is not supposed to handle that hard of a fall that well! Thankful I sent the boy for an ice pack, I went into action. We iced, we called daddy and her HTC nurse. We watched for symptoms that never happened and we loved on the baby all night long. Of course, my daylight she looked 100X worse as the bruising darkened and spread. I took her in to see the Hematologist as how can you really be too careful in these situations. All was fact great, considering. Everyone says, "it does not look that bad!" But to me, it does. I actually am still getting a twinge in my tummy every time I see it. She, on the other hand, minus the first 5 minutes after it happened has not shown a sign that it bothers her in the least.

Tomorrow we go back to Santa Rosa. This time for shots. Because of her VWD, we do shots with them in a specialized manner. I would be lying if I did not say that I am beyond nervous. Last time, it took her 18 hours to clot after shots. My ice chest is already sitting by the front door...Humate P will go in first thing in the morning, our saving grace if you will. Should she run into any problems we will administer her factor and she will clot. I don't want to go down that road but if we have to...what a blessing to have it. The thought of her having to go through all of that tomorrow has kept a lump in my throat for two weeks now. I can't wait for it to be over with.

My heartstrings tugging for the boy

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If I am honest with myself, I admit that I feel such a pressure to raise a good, responsible boy. I feel such a responsibility to shape him into a wonderful man. I am not really sure why I see it as such a challenge? He has a wonderful role model in his father...I know that. It seems like everyday I am inundated with information on the implications of the "diminishing male" in higher education. And, it is just not education...though, I did just engage in an e-mail exchange with his teacher (go ahead and call me a helicopter parent) for I will absolutely and always be involved in his education. The boy brings home straight A's and is in Gifted and Talented and we are proud, oh so proud....but still I want to make sure that he is being challenged on a daily basis. Still it is more than all that. The boy is tricky for this mama to understand.

Maybe I will feel that way with Camy down the road but I am not so sure. I think I have a handle on the girl thing...being a girl and all. I guess time will tell on that one.

Boys have a physical energy that is exhausting. The boy plays flag football and baseball and still runs circles around my energy level each day. How to harness all that energy into a constructive manner. Don't misunderstand me...we let him be a child at every turn. We actually are holding him back from joining other activities to keep him from being "scheduled" each and every day. He needs days to just ride his bike, color in the drive way and play with the neighborhood kids.

But to I ensure that he will grow to be a strong, confident, young man? I don't have the answers but just try my best everyday to mother that boy in a way that encourages the man I hope him to be. So here's to raising those boys...

She is one!

Dearest Camdyn,

Today you are one! Today we will celebrate the sweetest, baby girl! One year ago I was lying on an operating table so nervous but so ready to meet you. For so long you seemed like only a dream or a hope to us. But, today we rejoice in one year with our sweet princess. I don’t know what we did without you for you add so much happiness and sunshine to our lives’. You were born at 10:17 am….4 days before your scheduled c-section. We bonded immediately, it was like I had always known you from the second I looked into your little dark eyes. I wanted another baby so badly…boy or girl, it did not matter. However, from the moment daddy held you up to my face I had an overwhelming gratitude that you were a girl. I had no idea how much my heart truly desired a daughter.
You are a perfect mix of sugar and spice. You can hold your own and that comes in handy with your adoring, big brother. You love to be loved on and you greet me each morning with a big hug and sweet little pats. Sometimes those little pats become swats during the day when things don’t go your way and you feel the need to assert yourself. May you always be a perfect mixture of both!
I have this overwhelming desire to make things perfect for you. I have obsessed over your party. You deserve the perfect day. So as I woke up to thunderstorms this morning, my heart wept for you to have your perfect day. Daddy assured me that it would be great weather by party time and he was right. Maybe it stems from the pity I feel for you for having to deal with your bleeding disorder or the pain I feel each time you have to get poked and tested. I wish over and over that I could take it away from you! However, you are handling it with the grace and strength that only you could do. We count our blessings each day that you have not had any significant problems and my greatest prayer is that you never do. In fact, if a blood test did not show that you have low levels of Von Willebrand factor we would never know!
You are smart…so, so smart. You say so many words. Mama, dada, more, uh-oh spagettios and thank you. I swear you said “bless you” after I sneezed in the car the other day and when you are tired you whine…..mama, night-night, mama, night-night over and over until I take you to your crib. You love your room. On nights when I would much rather snuggle you in my bed you won’t have it and want your crib. You fall to sleep each night to your itunes playlist and your love-love and blanket near by.
You are starting to walk! I suspect that you really could have done it a couple of months ago as I would catch glimpses of you cruise from one piece of furniture to another without holding on but you officially waited until your first birthday to walk.
You are beautiful! Daddy and I always marvel at your beauty….your cute little cheeks, perfect little nose and sparkling eyes. I am told all the time how pretty you are so I know it is not just our bias, my sweets. With that prettiness comes the sass too. You love all things pink and frilly! You can shop for hours and run your little hands over all the clothes. When I show you an outfit that you really like, you light up and hold on to it for the rest of our shopping. You sit with me each morning as I apply my make-up like you are learning just how to do it to yourself one day. We are going to have so much fun together!
I love your baby rolls and chunky thighs. At 12 months you weigh in at 23 pounds! In some ways you look so much like Caden but you are also very much your own. You love your brother. He is patient and kind with you. He will sit for hours and read to you or roll a ball to you. You eat up any attention that he gives to you most of the time. When he keeps picking on you when we are in the car you have learned very quickly to give him a screech and shove his hand away to say you have had enough.
My most favorite of yours is your belly laugh…it starts out like a little rodent growl and escalates to full-on belly jiggling laugh. We call you the Camster Hamster because of the way you start your laugh. You laugh with your entire face and it does not take much to get you going. You think splashing around in the bath tub is the funniest thing that you have ever seen, followed only by brother’s fancy dance moves.
You are the only girl at Laura’s and that works to your advantage every day. I am pretty sure you do whatever you please there. I think Jayce is your favorite and you always share your food with him at lunch. Laura and Jesse call you “pink lady” in reference to your attire. You dress up every day because you love it, I love it and you have the most beautiful clothes. I realize I am creating a fashion diva and it does not bother me in the least!
You have made my life so much better and that is saying a lot because my life was perfectly happy before. So, Camy, sissy-belle, camster, the sister, baby girl, Elizabeth Wallis, Happy First Birthday, baby doll. I love you all the world!

Your adoring mama


She is a good one....a keeper for sure!



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About Me

Live, Laugh & Love...that's my battle cry! I love this life I've been given & blessed to share it with my handsome hubby, MW, my sweet son, doodle bug, and beautiful sissy belle!