That's my boy!

 

There is a switch that happens when you become a mother, I believe...something that makes life no longer just about yourself. An undeniable want for your child’s life to be better than your own becomes present. A relentless effort to provide, nourish and love beyond belief; an emotional need to protect your children from even the slightest form of pain or disappointment, and then the pride. Oh Pride.

I wanted doodle to test into the Gifted and Talented program so badly for a multitude of reasons. I want him to reach his highest academic potential. I want him to have a hunger for learning. I want him to know that the “smarter” he is, the easier life can be. I am an educator….I VALUE education. Sure, my bragging heart wants him to be on the all-stars and make the A team in every sport. But…. BUT, my true desire for him is to be equipped with the strongest education possible. I also wanted to protect him from the failure of not getting into the program.

He tested a couple of weeks ago. He felt confident in his performance but this child never lacks confidence, so that was hard to read. Every day I tear into his travel folder like it holds a million dollars, never once mentioning that I was frantically awaiting the letter from the school. Daddy and I both assured him that just being nominated was an accomplishment and that there were no expectations on our part. Yesterday the letter came. As I’ve been doing for the past two weeks, before even pulling out of the parking lot, I was tearing through his folder. It was there. With the letter in my hand, I faced a huge parenting moment. Do I read it right now, here in the parking lot? What if it is a denial…can I hide my disappointment in front of him? What will I say to him? Before I had a chance to process the information, from the backseat…..

“Ha, ha mama. I didn’t tell you the GT letter came! Are you surprised?” How did he know I was waiting on THAT letter?” “yes, baby you tricked me (he usually tells me what is in his folder on the walk to the car)…do you want me to open it now?” “Sure”

And before I got past the first sentence, I was in tears. “Are those happy tears, mama?” “Yes! I am so proud of you!”

While I know this is not his golden ticket into Harvard, I am proud as I can be. I have a Master’s degree in School Psychology. I’ve tested hundreds of children’s IQ on both ends of the spectrum. I 100% understand this opportunity for him.

Dear CMW,

You have made your mama proud, son, as you often do…may this opportunity challenge you to new heights and beyond. You have the world at your finger tips with all that you are. I pray that you always use your god-given gifts to the best of your ability and never, ever take them for granted. I am blessed to be your mother.

Love,

mama